The Enchanted Congregation, Part I

Here’s the first part of a story I told at the Central Midwest District’s LREDA (Liberal Religious Educators Association) chapter retreat:

Once upon a time there was a congregation that was pretty much just like any other congregation, except for one thing. It had a fairy godmother. The congregation loved the fairy godmother very much because she was special in so many ways. First of all, she was always very curious and the children in the congregation loved to follow her around as she explored all sorts of wonderful things. And she was passionate, too. The youth in the congregation liked nothing better than to sit around for hours with the fairy godmother drinking heavily caffeinated beverages and talking about their deepest thoughts and feelings. The fairy godmother was brave, as well. And the young adults in the congregation were fascinated by all of the courageous things the fairy godmother had done in her life, like backpacking through Europe or bicycling across India or spending a year in Mongolia, where all there was to eat was yak meat and yogurt. The older adults found much to admire in the fairy godmother, too, for she was strong, reliable and hardworking. But perhaps it was the elders who loved the fairy godmother the most because she possessed the wisdom of the ages, and they would turn to her as they made the difficult, sometimes final, decisions about their lives.

Now while fairy godmothers are very nice to have around, they have busy lives of their own. Inevitably there comes a time when every fairy godmother disappears. It’s just part of who they are, and this congregation’s fairy godmother was no exception. So late one Sunday morning, just as the congregation’s monthly potluck was beginning, the fairy godmother began to tap her water glass with her magic wand. It took a little doing to get everyone’s attention because even though the congregants loved and respected the fairy godmother, they loved to talk among themselves even more! Finally the fellowship hall grew silent and the fairy godmother gave them the sad news. “I have been your fairy godmother for many years now, but the time has come for me to move on. Don’t ask me why. It’s just the nature of fairy godmothers.” There was a collective gasp from the assembled congregation, followed by a huge, sad moan. And that was followed by a din of protest as everyone at once, from the youngest child to the eldest elder, tried to explain to the fairy godmother why she mustn’t leave them. But her mind was made up, she told them. There was nothing they could do or say to stop her.

However, just as it is inevitable that a fairy godmother will eventually disappear, it’s also true that fairy godmothers never leave without bestowing some sort of extra special gift. So once the congregation settled down and faced the reality of her departure, the fairy godmother told them what she was leaving with them. “To the children,” she said, “whom I love, I leave you a hearty portion of my curiosity. You live in a wonderful world and there’s much to explore. May you always be intrigued by every nook and cranny of it!” And the children smiled and clapped their hands and were delighted by her gift. “And to the youth,” she said, “whom I love, I leave you an abundant supply of my passion. Your thoughts and emotions run broad and deep. May they make your lives rich and full, and may you use them to heal the world.” And the youth looked sullenly at their shoes and felt a stirring of sadness in their hearts as they thought of losing their dear friend. “And to you, my young adult companions, whom I love,” she said. “I leave you with a healthy dose of courage. Now is the time for you to spread your wings. May you bravely go where your imagination leads you, no matter how far…or how near.” And the young adults smiled at thought of making their youthful dreams come true. The fairy godmother then looked at the older adults in the congregation and said, “And to you, whom love, I leave you with two huge fistfuls of my strength. Although it may seem that your days are never long enough to do all that must be done, please know that it is always worth the effort.” Finally, the fairy godmother’s eyes found those of the elders, and she whispered to them, “And you, my friends, whom I love without hesitation. I leave you with a fathomless well of wisdom. You have seen and heard so much in your lives. What you know is a blessing to us all.” The fairy godmother then raised her wand and flicked her wrist and in a burst of glittering fairy dust, she was gone.

While they were sad that their fairy godmother had left them, the congregation was thrilled with their new gifts. The children found that their curiosity was now insatiable. The youth discovered that their talks were deeper and more meaningful than they had ever been before. The young adults immediately began planning a service trip to far-off land that they had always dreamed about. The adults decided that now was the time to hunker down and completely revise the congregation’s by-laws. And the elders smiled and nodded wisely at the flurry of activity they saw around them. The congregation was humming and buzzing as it never had before. Each generation was learning and growing and expanding their horizons. Soon their sadness ebbed away and they found themselves wrapped in a warm and cozy sense of contentment. And hardly anyone noticed when the feeling of enchantment they had shared when the fairy godmother was with them gradually dissipated, like fog lifting in the mid-morning sun.

Soon the enchantment became a distant memory. And the sense of contentment began to dull their minds and hearts. The children grew tired of the same old routine in their Sunday school classes, no matter how exciting the subject might seem. The youth found that their thoughts and feelings could take them only so far, and a vague sense of disconnection began to seep into their meetings. The young adults returned from their service trip to a far-off land only to discover that the other generations were too involved with their own projects to pay much attention to what they had done. The older adults began to feel anxious that so many of the key milestones they had envisioned in their latest 10 year plan still lay far ahead of them. And the elders found themselves increasingly isolated at their monthly luncheons. They still had so much to offer, but no one really seemed to care.

Part II next week.

Faith Development 2020

Last week at the pre-LREDA (Liberal Religious Educators Association) Fall Conference meeting of UUA (Unitarian Universalist Association) program consultants, we discussed a new resource from the fine folks at Lifelong Faith (a group “committed to helping congregations develop lifelong faith formation for all ages and generations, increasing the capacity of leaders and communities to nurture faith growth”). As a group, we were pretty excited about Lifelong Faith’s new Faith Formation 2020 National Initiative. Now this is a specifically Christian group, but a lot of what they’re looking at has a bearing on any religious community, including Unitarian Universalists. The initiative has a couple of intriguing documents worth checking out: “Thirteen Trends and Forces Influencing the Future of Faith Formation in a Changing Church and World” and “Four Scenarios for the Future of Faith Formation in 2020.” I plan on writing more about this in the coming weeks. In the meantime, here are the thirteen treads and four scenarios.

Trend 1. Declining Participation in Christian Churches
Trend 2. Growth in No Religious Affiliation
Trend 3. Becoming More “Spiritual” and Less “Religious”
Trend 4. Influence of Individualism on Christian Identity and Community Life
Trend 5. Increasing Social, Cultural, and Religious Diversity in the U.S.
Trend 6. Growing Influence of Hispanic/Latino Religious Faith
Trend 7. Identifying a New Stage of Life: “Emerging Adulthood”
Trend 8. The Rise of a Distinctive Post-Boomer Faith and Spirituality
Trend 9. Changing Structures and Patterns of Family Life in the United States
Trend 10. Rediscovering the Impact of Parents and Families on Faith Practice
Trend 11. Living in a Digital World
Trend 12. Educating in New Ways
Trend 13. Increasing Numbers of Adults 65 and Older

Scenario #1. Vibrant Faith and Active Engagement in the Church Community
Scenario #2. Spiritual, but Not Religious
Scenario #3. Unaffiliated and Uninterested
Scenario #4. Participating in Church Activities, but Faith and the Spiritual Life Are Not Important

For more information on the thirteen treads and four scenarios, visit http://lifelongfaith.com/faithformation2020.htm.

CLF | Quest

One of the perks of being a UU minister is that you automatically receive each issue of the Church of the Larger Fellowship’s monthly publication, Quest. And one of the neatest features of Quest is the mini-sermon that’s on the front page of every issue. Since we live in a small UU world, I find that I usually know the minister who has written the sermon–in fact, sometimes they’re personal acquaintances of mine. For example, the sermon in the July/August issue was written by one of my Meadville/Lombard classmates, Kathryn Bert. This month’s issue features a sermon by Thom Belote, minister at Shawnee Mission UU Church in Kansas. As with most of Thom’s work, I found it to be thoughtful and thought-provoking. He’s basic thesis is that ours is a covenantal–not creedal–religion, and as such, “we can’t expect to all believe the same things.” We can, however, “respect each other even (and especially) when we don’t agree.” I like Thom’s approach here because it cuts through the clutter of our diverse theological beliefs and gets to the heart of why we gather together in religious community. As Thom says,

Our covenants in this church—made with one another and with the spirit and source of life itself—are powerful. The promises we make have the power to change lives; the promises call upon us to live up to our best selves, to summon forth our true, authentic, vulnerable, and passionate selves.

Some wise words to think about as we begin this church year.

Five Ways To Live Your Life Without Regrets

I’m a sucker for quick lists that really get to the point, like Sophie Keller’s recent “Five Ways to Live Your Life without Regrets” at Huffington Post.  While the five points may seem a little obvious (or even a little sappy), I think they do a good job of summing up what a life well lived is all about. They are:

1. Choose Love
2. Be here. Now!
3. Take Risks
4. Make a Difference
5. Be Patient

These are definitely traits that I would hope to find in a mature person of faith. Read more at Sophie Keller: How Happy Is: 5 Ways To Live Your Life Without Regrets.

Fourteen Tips for Running a Good Meeting

A great post from Gretchen Rubin at Huffington Post on running a good meeting. I especially like tip number fourteen: No chairs! “Bob Sutton…points to a study that showed that people in meetings where everyone stood took 34% less time to make an assigned decision, with decisions that were just as good as those made by groups who were sitting down.” Of course, accommodations would have to be made for those who couldn’t stand for an entire meeting. But imagine a world where meetings took a third less time. The mind boggles.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Balloon Boy

IMG_0775.JPG, originally uploaded by psdlund.

Testing out my flickr account.

OWL Training in Minneapolis

Wade and Jessica, originally uploaded by psdlund.

I was up late last night, driving around in some very snowy Saint Paul streets, to pick up Jessica York, Youth Programs Director for the Lifespan Faith Development Staff Group and OWL facilitator extraordinaire. Jessica is in town to co-facilitate a combined Elementary OWL training with Wade Zick from the United Church of Christ Minnesota conference. As you can see, I was able to get Jessica to her hotel safely, and she was able to make it to the Westminster Presbyterian Church in downtown Minneapolis for the training. We’re happy to have Jessica back in Prairie Star (this is the third training she’s co-facilitated for us).

Welcoming and Integrating New Members

We keep refining our “Ten Good Ideas” series of online workshops, and last night’s one on welcoming and integrating new members was one of the best yet! Justin Schroeder, Director of Congregational Development at Unity Church-Unitarian, gave an hour-long presentation to a virtual “full house” (we had 22 people registered for the workshop, which is our limit!). What’s especially exciting to me is that we recorded the workshop using a service available from FreeConference. I was able to download and edit the recording right away, so I’ve got it all ready to go as a slidecast from SlideShare. Here it is, along with Justin’s revised notes and the links we sent to the participants. Enjoy!

Pathway to Membership Presentation 2009
by Justin Schroeder

General Operating Framework:

• People come to church with a deep yearning for community, for religion, for depth – how they are received and engaged matters! (Church may be one of the few places people are truly seen.)
• Radical hospitality: The stranger offers us something valuable; the stranger holds a piece of the divine; it’s the church’s job to incarnate the radical, inclusive love that reaches out to all people.
• Who is the church for? The church exists in large part, for those who aren’t yet there, but dream of a transformative, justice seeking, liberal religious community.
• Mission and Vision: What is the church in the world to do and why? Share this with people!

OUR JOB, GIVEN THE ABOVE: Provide an adequate orientation, including a) spiritual orientation (help people understand our faith tradition and examine their own faith), b) physical orientation (getting oriented in the building, knowing where restrooms are, etc.), c) institutional orientation – helping people understand how to become members (the Pathway), articulating expectations of membership, inviting people to “grow their souls.”

How Unity does this: “Pathway to Membership – a series of three classes”

1. Notice/acknowledge guests
   Offer a guest registry, specific welcome and announcements for newcomers/guests, including basic orientation class, well trained Sunday ushers and greeters,  “Welcome Pack” for visitors cars. Have well stock brochure racks that highlight classes for newcomers.
2. Follow up with guests
   Followup emails, letters, or phone calls. “We noticed you worship with us! I’d love to hear your impressions? Any other questions?”
3. See the church through a guest’s eyes.
   Is the signage clear? How informative is the website? Is the newsletter accessible to newcomers? Be aware of insider language.
4. Crowd Control – Important for all groups, but especially for groups of newcomers/guests: Have a strong leader/facilitator in charge that can manage the group, make it “safe,” and give people the sense that this is a place “where someone is in charge.” Remember: 1 dominant or out of control person can RUIN a small group experience, and turn off visitors.
5. Ditch the “you can believe” anything you want mentality.
   You can’t believe anything you want. “An unexamined faith (an accidental faith) is not worth living.” We have a particular history and theology and we need to effectively invite guests/visitors to join our non-dogmatic, non-creedal faith.
   How? By offering a clear pathway to becoming a member…sign ups available every Sunday.
6. Welcome to Unity
   Goals: Basic overview of church – mission and vision – core aspects of the faith; invite people to share parts of their story. Offered 1 x month. (Share posters). Participants learn about church, see how they could be a part of it; leave with a packet of info. Low commitment class.
   Follow up email with a link to “A Liberal Faith” video, additional info, and times the next classes are offered.
7. Finding Yourself at Unity
   Goals: Deeper exploration of UU history, share history of Unity, tour of building, talk about expectations of membership (pledging, spiritual practice, sharing gifts, etc), covenant group experience, meet ministers. Sign up for “Three in three” – three service opportunities, one a month for three months. Helps people connect to various ministries in the church – and meet other people.
8. Committing to Unity
   Goals: Create a powerful “joining ritual.” Deeper exploration of the meaning of membership. Participants fill out gifts and talents form, pledge card, and write down “what it means to be joining the church at this point in their lives.” Ceremony at end of class as they sign the membership book (ministers join for ceremony.) Take their picture, new member bios, etc.
9. Follow up and invitations. Follow up with new members based on what you know about their gifts and talents, etc. Invite them to join a covenant group, or other small groups. Invite them to become involved in something that feeds their spirit.
10. Remind new members that they are the church, that the ministry of the church (including welcoming, etc.), and the mission and vision of the church, is theirs to live into and to own!

Here’s a link to UUA Resources mentioned during the workshop, including the UU Primer and the Voices of a Liberal Faith DVD.

UPDATE: Here’s a link to Unity’s membership class information. Unity pathways to membership.

Help Your Congregants Get a Virtual Life

You may have heard about the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Second Life, which is pretty cool. But you don’t have to have an online avatar in “an Internet-based virtual world” order to live a virtual life. Most of us are already living virtually whenever we used the internet for relatively simple tasks, like sending e-mail. I’m thinking about the use of e-mail right now because it’s one of the topics we’ll be bringing up during tonight’s online workshop on disaster preparations for UU congregations (and there’s still room for some more participants, so if you’re interested, get your virtual self online and register here). It’s number seven of our 10 good ideas: Beware the power of electronic communication to drive anxiety. And I think one of the best ways for us to avoid anxiety caused by electronic communication in our congregations is to have some ground rules about how we interact with one another via the internet. To that end, I’d like to share with you a great little resource from Patricia T. O’Conner and Stewart Kellerman, authors of You Send Me: Getting It Right When You Write Online. Take a look at this feature at O’Conner’s website Grammarphobia.com – Test Your E-Mail I.Q.. It’s a twenty question test she calls “Get a Virtual Life: Operating Instructions.” Regarding congregational best practices around e-mail, I find the following questions and answers most helpful:

• Are your facts right? It’s all right to be informal, but not with the facts. And check the math too. The Internet is full of misinformation, so be careful about what you pass on.
• Were you polite? Small slights are magnified in e-mail and other online writing, and offhand remarks can be taken the wrong way. Ask for something, don’t demand it. Use words like “please,” “thank you,” and “sorry.”
• Were you discreet? E-mail isn’t the place for sensitive personnel matters, criticism of third parties, off-color remarks, office romance, gossip, rumors, or tooting your own horn. And don’t share someone’s e-mail address without permission.
• Do all these people need copies? Don’t copy your every idea to everyone in your seminar or sales group or alumni association or address book. Everybody else’s mailbox is just as stuffed as yours.
• Should you sleep on it? Never e-mail in the heat of anger. You’ll regret it the next day. If there’s steam shooting out your ears, cool off before you click Send.
• Does it have to be an e-mail? E-mail is swell, but it’s not always appropriate. Maybe a letter or a phone call or a face-to-face meeting would be better.

Of course the place to start changing the online culture of a congregation is with the leadership. Perhaps O’Conner’s and Kellerman’s book should be required reading for all new staff and board members?